A needle in a Haystack

How picking a winner feels when you're on a bad run!

Horse Humour: Funny Horse Jokes

One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he said to the farmer: “I think your horse looks pretty good, so I’ll give you €500 for him.”
“He doesn’t look so good, and he’s not for sale,” the farmer said.
The man insisted, “I think he looks just fine and I’ll up the price to €1,000.”
“He doesn’t look so good,” the farmer said, “but if you want him that much, he’s yours.”
The next day the man came back raging mad. He went up to the farmer and screamed, “You sold me a blind horse. You cheated me!”
The farmer calmly replied, “I told you he didn’t look so good, didn’t I?”

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

My horse was so slow that the jockey got paid time-and-a-half for overtime.

Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

Q. How to make a small fortune in the horse industry …
A. Start with a large fortune!

A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, "Excuse me… are you a horse?”

"Why yes, I am," replies the horse.

"What are you doing at this movie?"

The horse says, “I really liked the book."

My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.

Horse Profile: Night Nurse

Introduction

While more commonly known to most people as a powerful medicine to be taken at night, Night Nurse is one of the most popular racehorses of its era. Known for its frightening pace and unending stamina, Night Nurse left many other horses with nightmares over a racing career that seen a glut of wins across a 7-year spell. Foaled in 1971, this Gelding went on to form one of the most impressive dynasties of any horse in the era.

With 35 wins across its career, it was one of the most impressive horses of the era. 

 

Career Summary

It’s first career wins came in its first races, having won two of its first three races and coming second in one of its first flat races, too. In 1975, it won ten races in a row and carried out an incredible uneaten season, something rarely seen at the time. This meant that it held English, Welsh and Scottish Champion hurdle trophies all at the same time – an incredible feat.

A winning habit was formed, and over the next seven years the horse won the majority of the Hurdles that existed at the time. from the Fighting Fifth to the Mandarin Handicap, this is a horse that took part in various tournaments and made a pretty impressive habit of coming out on top each time. 

 

Achievements & Highlights

Wins – Fighting Fifth Hurdle (1975), Irish Sweeps Hurdle (1975), Champion Hurdle (1976, 1977), Scottish Champion Hurdle (1976), Welsh Champion Hurdle (1976, 1977), Templegate Hurdle (dead heat)(1977), William Hill Hurdle, Free Handicap Hurdle, Sean Graham Trophy Chase (1979), Black & White Whisky Gold Cup Chase (1979), Mandarin Handicap Chase (1982), Pennine Chase (1982), Red Alligator Chase (1980), London & Northern Group Chmp. Nov. Chase.

Associations – Reg Spencer, Eleanor Samuelson, Peter Easterby. 

 

Earnings – £174,000+

Horse Humour

Well in truth the video is indeed called Horses, Peacefully Farting and Snoring, but I can't bring myself to title it that!

Free Money?

I just saw this video throw back to a 'dead cert' from a couple of years back, and thought I'd post it here as a timely reminder that there's no such thing as free money in betting. There are good bets and bad bets based on value of course, and as it happens, unfortunately for some (and fortunately for others!) this one certainly falls into the latter category!

On 15th March 2015, in the Median Auction Maiden Fillies' Stakes at Lingfield 'Triple Dip' no doubt had some super confident favourite loving punters tearing out their hair and tearing up their betting slips as the horse faded into second place. There's no such thing as a certainty! Mercy Me won the race at 16-1.

Baby Horse Livin' The Life!

Look at this little nut head enjoying himself!